April 14, 2013
I had to get Daddy up this morning, like any other morning. I knew for a fact he was awake, I heard his voice as he shushed me, only a little while ago. I said his name nice and loud like I was taught. I can hear him now "Speak up Maritza, so people can hear you!" This was not the case. For some reason loud, is inappropriate, that early in the day. Despite what Daddy would say, we can honestly say "we have trained him well enough-for him to know, If the sun is awake; so are we." There is light shining on everything for us to see. How can you do that, if you don't get up?
"DADDY'" Can I have something to eat."
He turns his head and faced me "Did you use the bathroom this morning?"
"OH!".. Trying to hurry(something Daddy reminds me not to do)..I moved swiftly through the RV that was in it's "bedtime mode"-the couch and the booth style dining area turn into beds-ran to the bathroom back to the bed and pulled close to an already awaken Daddy and said in the sweetest way I possibly could
"Daddy? I'm hungry..."
"GOOD MORNING, MARITZA."
"Good morning, Daddy....I'm hungry.."
Can you wait just a minute? You just woke up."I wasn't thinking about how long it's been since I woke up. I was thinking about how hungry I was as I said again with an elongated first syllable,
"But, I'm hun-gry".
"I know. That's why you asked for something to eat."
"Why do you always say that?"
"I say it, because I know your hungry, you just woke up"
"Can I have some cereal?..."
"Sure, Maritza."
"Can I have it right now?"
"Can you give me a minute?"
"Yes, Daddy..........How long is a minute?"
"Sixty seconds."
"How long is that?"
"One tick on the clock."
"How long is that?"
"A second"
"Why?"
"Alright Maritza, alright. I'm up, and look, Alyssia's up too. Good morning, baby"
"Good morning, Daddy....excuse me? Daddy?"
"Yes, Alyssia"
"Can I have something to eat?"
"You just woke up. Did you even go to the bathroom?
"Oh!" as Alyssia ran off, I looked at Daddy and said "Has it been a minute yet?
"Yes, Maritza it has, help me set the couch up"
"Can I have Cereal?"
"Didn't I answer that question, for you, already?"
"Yes, but I really want some cereal"
"I know you do!"
"Why do you keep saying that?"
"Why do you keep asking me that?"
-just then Alyssia walks out-the same time Daddy reaches for the honey Kix- and says, "excuse me Daddy?.."
Grabbing our bowls now "Yes, Alyssia?"
"Can I have some cereal?......"
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Forget Me Nots
"Don't forget", with his finger waving too and fro. "Don't you ever forget". At this point, in any conversation with Daddy, I have to ask-even when I think I know the answer- "Why, Daddy?" He loves it when I ask why, he says it keeps him sharp and on his toes. Daddy pauses. He gave me that look. The one that says "I have used my brain to construct the best suitable explanation of your questioning, are you ready"
I returned a look that said "attention span countdown in t-minus 20 seconds, are you done?". He laughed as if he knew what I was thinking and said,
I returned a look that said "attention span countdown in t-minus 20 seconds, are you done?". He laughed as if he knew what I was thinking and said,
"You should never forget, what you've experienced, what you have learned and what you have been through. This is the center of our existence, our memory. We use it as a time machine, take a trip to a period in our lives when life was wonderful, or, horrible. We can relive any sensation we have already experienced, smell the ocean, feel the warmth of the first rays of the morning sun on our face, hear the early birds chirping, see the smile of someone you love and remember the kindness of a stranger you met with more love than any family member. We can also go back in the data banks of our minds and relive the horrific moment of torture and ridicule, the inexcusable actions of another human being, the bad choices we might have made and the regret we carry, which eats at us from the inside. Don't forget, we use our memory for simple tasks, like numbers and addresses, names and faces, individuals and their personalities-their wants and desires, likes and dislikes. We can use memory as a tool or as a weapon. As a tool, it can be used to teach us, to mold us and shape us. It is this weight or stone-this massive, immovable, definitive object, in which we can still alter.
This symbol is the bases of which our character, personality and identity are derived from. As a weapon it can be used as a torture device .A knife pressing against the throat. A weight that can only be carried on your back, gradually becoming heavier, until you are crushed beneath the weight of your own recollection. The strength of memory can bring down the strongest woman, the mightiest warrior or the bravest man. The thought of fear is enough to shake anyone to the core.
So easily do we find ourselves surrounded by the experiences that should of taught us how to treat people. Instead, we use those experiences to defend ourselves out of fear of being hurt-in any shape or form-again. There could be a memory of misfortune which sparks a distaste towards poverty. A memory of having nothing to eat, sleeping on the floor and only taking one bath a week, which gives you an appreciation of wealth(no matter the size). A moment where you where bed stricken for months and gives you a new found appreciation of fully functional limbs or better yet, being healthy. A memory can alter your perception of any given situation-not because of the action-because of the feelings you have towards it. Understand, people you talk do not know what you are feeling as you voice your thoughts. They do not know how to deal with your feelings. They can only act on the words that they hear and the actions you exhibit. To believe that someone on the outside, can fully understand what you are going through-and vice verse-without being told is absurd and selfish. How can we expect someone to know our personal and individual memories? How could we force our "view" on to a being with memories of their own? How wonderful our memories can be and at the same time how destructive they can become.
That's why, I will always remind you to never forget. Memory can be used to motivate the masses, persuade a nation or manipulate a single individual. It can be our handicap, our burden or our greatest source of strength. Those without memory have the luxury and disadvantage of living each day as if it were new. Rediscovering the already explored. Never adding on to what has been learned or passing it on to an offspring. Then again, they can stroll through life without the persuasion of horrible memories and life altering situations and can come to a conclusion, unbiased. Should it be envied or should we empathize the naivety? Who we are and what drives us is fueled by our memories. We create our own reality based on memories. We as human beings were not taught the value of this(you will be). We take it for granted and let memories manipulate our actions towards our self and others. You must never forget... To forget, is to dismiss the knowledge of years of trials and errors. To forget how it feels or how it makes others feel is an ignorant refuge. Be aware of your past and hold on to the memories. The promise I give to you from Father to daughter is this; I will not forget what it is like without you and what it took to keep my two, pretty little girls in my life. I will not forget the countless homes we had to stay at, to avoid living in the streets, the feeling of helplessness when I knew I had the power to do anything. I will not forget the envy and fear that fill the heads of the inhabitants of this world. I will not forget those who have helped us on our journey and I will not forget to teach you all about it now, so it will stay with you forever to brighten the path that you will walk, later in life. Does that answer your question, Maritza?"
"Yes.....but why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you doing this for us, because you love us?"
With a chuckle Daddy said "Yes, Maritza I do it because I love you. I also do it because-"
"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"That answer is good enough for me. I love you too, Daddy"
This symbol is the bases of which our character, personality and identity are derived from. As a weapon it can be used as a torture device .A knife pressing against the throat. A weight that can only be carried on your back, gradually becoming heavier, until you are crushed beneath the weight of your own recollection. The strength of memory can bring down the strongest woman, the mightiest warrior or the bravest man. The thought of fear is enough to shake anyone to the core.
So easily do we find ourselves surrounded by the experiences that should of taught us how to treat people. Instead, we use those experiences to defend ourselves out of fear of being hurt-in any shape or form-again. There could be a memory of misfortune which sparks a distaste towards poverty. A memory of having nothing to eat, sleeping on the floor and only taking one bath a week, which gives you an appreciation of wealth(no matter the size). A moment where you where bed stricken for months and gives you a new found appreciation of fully functional limbs or better yet, being healthy. A memory can alter your perception of any given situation-not because of the action-because of the feelings you have towards it. Understand, people you talk do not know what you are feeling as you voice your thoughts. They do not know how to deal with your feelings. They can only act on the words that they hear and the actions you exhibit. To believe that someone on the outside, can fully understand what you are going through-and vice verse-without being told is absurd and selfish. How can we expect someone to know our personal and individual memories? How could we force our "view" on to a being with memories of their own? How wonderful our memories can be and at the same time how destructive they can become.
That's why, I will always remind you to never forget. Memory can be used to motivate the masses, persuade a nation or manipulate a single individual. It can be our handicap, our burden or our greatest source of strength. Those without memory have the luxury and disadvantage of living each day as if it were new. Rediscovering the already explored. Never adding on to what has been learned or passing it on to an offspring. Then again, they can stroll through life without the persuasion of horrible memories and life altering situations and can come to a conclusion, unbiased. Should it be envied or should we empathize the naivety? Who we are and what drives us is fueled by our memories. We create our own reality based on memories. We as human beings were not taught the value of this(you will be). We take it for granted and let memories manipulate our actions towards our self and others. You must never forget... To forget, is to dismiss the knowledge of years of trials and errors. To forget how it feels or how it makes others feel is an ignorant refuge. Be aware of your past and hold on to the memories. The promise I give to you from Father to daughter is this; I will not forget what it is like without you and what it took to keep my two, pretty little girls in my life. I will not forget the countless homes we had to stay at, to avoid living in the streets, the feeling of helplessness when I knew I had the power to do anything. I will not forget the envy and fear that fill the heads of the inhabitants of this world. I will not forget those who have helped us on our journey and I will not forget to teach you all about it now, so it will stay with you forever to brighten the path that you will walk, later in life. Does that answer your question, Maritza?"
"Yes.....but why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you doing this for us, because you love us?"
With a chuckle Daddy said "Yes, Maritza I do it because I love you. I also do it because-"
"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"That answer is good enough for me. I love you too, Daddy"
Thursday, April 4, 2013
This Is Only The Beginning
March 21, 2013
Sitting alone. Midnight passes, one o'clock rolls around with a quiet whisper. The loudest noise in the room can only be heard....,if you stop and think about it. Two pretty, little angels, sleeping five feet away. Clueless to the future that lie ahead of them. For words to describe it, you would have to catch a lightning bolt in a jar, scratch a caterpillar's knuckles, kiss the man in the moon and hug the sun. The frustration they will encounter will only be equal to the intrigue they will create.
Comments brought to light; become the light. Reinforced, consistently, day to day, night to night, awake or asleep. The belief of God, judgement day and the afterlife, replaced with the belief of empowerment, consciousness, and awareness. Ignorance, being clueless or oblivious, defected with knowledge, information and wisdom. The ability to create your own reality, untaught to the masses. Explained to deaf ears and busy minds. Embeded in my girls.More trouble than what its worth? Could you put a value on growing up with wisdom instead of orders? Is there value in growing up, being raised to know, what you are eating is not just a yummy treat to reward yourself, or a crutch to hold your heavy and misguided body, but medicine. The earth we live on supplies us with all the medicinal plants, fruits, and vegetables we can grow.
When this. Obvious lesson is taught to fresh new minds, the metamorphosis become an identity not just an idea. A thought becomes a seed. The seed grows into structure of intimidation. Roots reaching into the core of the earth. A trunk so powerfull, no force on earth can move it, leaves of green, shading and giving comfort to anyone who needs or desires it and branches like arms reaching for the light, which eventually and expectedly bear fruit.
Mimic, Copy, imitate.....learn. Children see children do. Examples are all a child needs. Build it and they will come. To thwart the bombardment of products and commercials, perceived as propaganda. Two precious lives, a year and a half apart, living under the rule of a man who is awake, aware. Where the greatest dilemma is functioning in an undesirable lifestyle of the modern day slave. Possessing the capabilities to co-exist within a society, riddled in submission. So to not disrupt the "unnatural" order of things. The delicate fabric can not sustain the knowledge of lies disguised as truths and truths disguised as lies. It only takes one truth to collapse a mountain of lies. Knowing that is the only way to understand how to be understood. The relentless arguments, depression, suicide, accomplishment, material adrenaline rush, satisfaction, politics, sports and religion keep us warm as the temperature rises without question. so goes the tale of the boiling frog.
TO BE CONTINUED....
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