October 23, 2012
Daddy wrote us a letter, again. He told us, whether we are together or apart we will always be in his heart and mind, forever. We love our Daddy. We tell him everyday and he tells us the same. I wonder if everyone is as fortunate as we are. Of course we can't read it yet, but that doesn't mean you can't read it for us, and for that we thank you.
To Maritza & Alyssia, my air, my mind (for without it, I could not live),
The day is fast approaching, when we must leave this place. The place where you two were born and my life was given true meaning. You wont realize this until you read this letter, and by then it will just be a memory of a time when you were too young to remember. A time that will only be spoken of when we talk about the family we left behind. I wish we could take The Woodley's & The Johnson's with us. Come to think of it, we will. They have seen you's grow, they remember you as infants, and most of all, they have loved you as their own. I will always remind you of the family you have in Baltimore. I will always pay respects to the city that gave me my two princesses, my angels, my shining stars, even though I have been through more turmoil and disgust in the past three years in Baltimore, than all my twenty-seven years in New York City.
In this day and age, most men don't raise their children or get the chance to raise their children, like I do. The
fact is, most don't want to. For those that do, it becomes difficult for both the father and the children. The
child begins to live in two worlds. The mothers (the majority of the
time) and the fathers (one or two weekends, if he's fortunate). The mothers word in this world is
law. I fear it everyday. Maybe, that's why I don't take for granted the privileges that I have, of being in you lives, day in and day out. Not a
moment goes by that I forget my luxuries. The meals I prepare for you, I know what
you don't like and which foods are your favorites. I cook like my mother, because I enjoy my little kitchen helpers by my side, and microwaving a dinner doesn't create moments, it takes them away. Luxuries like washing your cloths, from
your pillow cases, to your socks, stuffed animals and blankets. I know which ones are yours, Maritza, and which
ones belong to you, Alyssia. Luxuries like clipping your nails, brushing your teeth, and yes, even wiping your butts after you use the potty. Brushing your hair, giving you baths, and keeping you clean. I love putting lotion smiley, sad, angry, and surprised faces on the back of your hands, and the tops of your feet, right before the tickle monster comes after your dressed to go to sleep. I enjoy and respect most importantly, educating, nurturing, and guiding you. My wisdom
will become your knowledge.
Sometimes Maritza & Alyssia, I can't help but feel this
unexplainable feeling in the pit of my stomach. If I had to try. I would
have to say, anxiety mixed with uncertainty, dipped in panic, rolled in
torment, and baked in an oven of outrage. I worry that what we have
wont last forever. That in an instant our situation will change and you
will be taken away from me. Society can be cruel that way. I can lie and guarantee you the world and everything in it, but
that's all it would be, a lie, if you are not raised by me, live with me, or enjoy life with me. The world has no idea what I am
trying to establish. What I am trying to accomplish. Long before you
will read, and fully understand this letter. You will understand, I am
not working vigorously to keep you alive (that's simple). I am not
struggling to guarantee your safety (that's a given). I am not frustrated
on giving you my attention(that's easy). I am not skeptical of your
future (what I do, while you are a child, is were my focus lies). You will
understand, I am aware. I am coherent. Apprehensive of my morals,
creativity, compassion, inspiration, loyalty, curiosity, rationality, my
emotions, my life, and my ability to process information. You will know
this, my babies, my daughters, because I will instil this deep in your heart, mind, and soul. The world is a scary place, but so is the dark without a flashlight to shine the way.
I will be your light, your guide, your strength. Your tissue to catch your tears, your pillow to rest your head. I will be your cheerleader on the sidelines, no matter the score. I will step back to let you fall, because falling helps you to learn, to pick yourself back up. I will commend your accomplishments and also your mistakes. I will be that ear you need to tell your story, that hug you need when you feel angry. I will be your father with a stern and confident position, and at times your friend, so you could understand any situation. I know that sometimes you wont like my decisions, but I hope these letters I write will help to ease your confusion. I don't know what the future holds and I don't care, because right now in my life I have two of the most beautiful, caring, loving girls that I have ever known. I look at my life and wonder, what I have done to receive the hell that life is serving me now, but then I look at my life with you two in it... and I got exactly what I deserved.
Thank you, my Daddy's little girls. I promise you I won't let you down.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Roll Models
October 23, 2012
We have seen many people in our lives come and go, some we remember, most of them we don't. The only person that matters and never will be forgotten, is a person raising children and not spoiling them rotten. It's easy to give in and forget about discipline, where would that lead us, in this world that we live in. Full time, Part time or no time will be remembered by your children, when they are out of control, you're confused, because you can't think of a reason. Not concerned with a moment or a minute of their time, you think keeping them alive will do just fine. Attention is what any child on earth is out to seek, have you ever spoke with your child just to hear them speak? Their mind and their thoughts all come from you, don't ignore the slightest idea and pay attention to their view. Parents tend to think that a child can raise themselves, when all they look for is knowledge that you project from yourself. If the projection is baron the next step is the truth, a child will learn from someone even if its not you. When your child sounds foreign, peculiar, and bizarre, it's because you didn't think it was important to take it that far. Manners, politeness, well spoken, and clean, is definitely not something you can learn from the streets. We watch you and copy, whatever it might be, from your laziness, motivation, and everything that you eat. Confidence, insecurity, how strong, or how weak, the way you read to us, or don't, our bedtime stories. Your accomplishments, your triumphs, your blaze to glory, your downfall, your failures your incredible stories. Why do we mimic, copy, and repeat?, the fact that you're the parent is all the reason that we need. When we grow up and all you hear is praise, it says you did a great job raising your children that way. When all you here is negativity about how your child acts, it's because when they were young you would give them nothing to give back. A child is your sculpture you share with the world, whether it be strength in a boy or kindness in a girl. We see how easy it is to just give in, but wouldn't you drown if you weren't taught to swim? The world is watching, you wont realize until we're older, why we can't deal with all weight that rest on our shoulders. Ever wonder why a singer gives birth to a child that can sing, or a magician creates magic within they're offspring. An actor and attention, creating a life yearning fame, an athlete, a model, do it just the same. An intellect, a scientist create children who explore, how about an alcoholic, or an addict, need I say more. Now keep in mind there are those, an exceptional few. Who grow up and learn whatever their parents did, don't do. To the majority of us kids that want to be like our parents, don't set a bad example that would leave you embarrassed. To those parents out there without a worry or a care., think of all the other parents that actually do care. You wont because that's you, and your child will be the same, nothing you could do when your child is too far and out of range. You lay fault and point blame never taking responsibility, it is that attitude you pass on intellect or stupidity. You will understand what has to be done, when it's much to late, it's easier to teach a child when they have a clean slate. So do what you can and so much more, depending on you we can be sweet, or rotten to the core.
We have seen many people in our lives come and go, some we remember, most of them we don't. The only person that matters and never will be forgotten, is a person raising children and not spoiling them rotten. It's easy to give in and forget about discipline, where would that lead us, in this world that we live in. Full time, Part time or no time will be remembered by your children, when they are out of control, you're confused, because you can't think of a reason. Not concerned with a moment or a minute of their time, you think keeping them alive will do just fine. Attention is what any child on earth is out to seek, have you ever spoke with your child just to hear them speak? Their mind and their thoughts all come from you, don't ignore the slightest idea and pay attention to their view. Parents tend to think that a child can raise themselves, when all they look for is knowledge that you project from yourself. If the projection is baron the next step is the truth, a child will learn from someone even if its not you. When your child sounds foreign, peculiar, and bizarre, it's because you didn't think it was important to take it that far. Manners, politeness, well spoken, and clean, is definitely not something you can learn from the streets. We watch you and copy, whatever it might be, from your laziness, motivation, and everything that you eat. Confidence, insecurity, how strong, or how weak, the way you read to us, or don't, our bedtime stories. Your accomplishments, your triumphs, your blaze to glory, your downfall, your failures your incredible stories. Why do we mimic, copy, and repeat?, the fact that you're the parent is all the reason that we need. When we grow up and all you hear is praise, it says you did a great job raising your children that way. When all you here is negativity about how your child acts, it's because when they were young you would give them nothing to give back. A child is your sculpture you share with the world, whether it be strength in a boy or kindness in a girl. We see how easy it is to just give in, but wouldn't you drown if you weren't taught to swim? The world is watching, you wont realize until we're older, why we can't deal with all weight that rest on our shoulders. Ever wonder why a singer gives birth to a child that can sing, or a magician creates magic within they're offspring. An actor and attention, creating a life yearning fame, an athlete, a model, do it just the same. An intellect, a scientist create children who explore, how about an alcoholic, or an addict, need I say more. Now keep in mind there are those, an exceptional few. Who grow up and learn whatever their parents did, don't do. To the majority of us kids that want to be like our parents, don't set a bad example that would leave you embarrassed. To those parents out there without a worry or a care., think of all the other parents that actually do care. You wont because that's you, and your child will be the same, nothing you could do when your child is too far and out of range. You lay fault and point blame never taking responsibility, it is that attitude you pass on intellect or stupidity. You will understand what has to be done, when it's much to late, it's easier to teach a child when they have a clean slate. So do what you can and so much more, depending on you we can be sweet, or rotten to the core.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
They Call Them Eskimo Kisses
October 13, 2012
One month from now. The labels come off. I can not be accused of being a little girl. I will demand the respect given to Maritza. I will be a three year old. The change will take place now, I am aware of my sophistication, responsibility, and power. I've seen it, watched it, became a season ticket holder to the show that was my sister, Mrs Maritza Perez at age three, enough said. It's my turn. I have my hardships, right now with speaking. Difficulty saying my R's, L's, S's, and anything that starts with a C, K, or Q. It must be funny, though. I hear Daddy laugh sometimes. He says "It's cute, you struggle with the S and L, and they're in your name." Keep that sense of humor handy, for when we are plotting against you. Harmless playtime becomes plot-time. Maritza and I fully comprehensible to each other, turning "dealing with Daddy" into a science. I'm getting to that stage. Playing catch up with my big Sis is speeding the process. So when I does, sooner than later, its a wrap. .
Nowadays, Maritza steals, well not steals my attention from Daddy, more like distracts him from, the sweet and precious, fierce and ferocious little girl who is.........Alyssia Perez. The second daughter. Everyone knows this, It's a fact. Another fact is, I deserve the same amount, 50/50, right down the middle, treatment. I am happy to say, Daddy does an "alright" job dealing with Maritza not sharing. I mean treating us equally. Though, he seems to talk to her more than he does me. It's like a constant barrage of word after word, with them two. First Daddy, then Maritza. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, then Maritza again (Daddy loves to talk). Still, he doesn't talk with me like that. I stand on the sidelines. Listening to them "engage in conversation". It must be great to share something special with Daddy.
I thought about it all day. What do I and Daddy share between us? Everything he does with me, he does with Maritza. I was at the dinner table, with Maritza across from me. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Daddy gives Maritza a little more food on her plate, than on mine. OK , she's older. Besides that, nothing different. She has a fork, so do I. She has a spoon, again, so do I. We are done with dinner and a snack. It's off to the bathroom for a bath. I contemplate while Daddy puts shampoo and conditioner in Maritza's hair. He uses more for her because her hair is longer. Understandable. We use different toothpaste. I use the princess bubblegum flavored toothpaste, Maritza uses Daddy's mint toothpaste. I don't like the taste of mint. She does. Nothing special. We receive the same treatment....so was there nothing Him and I shared? I was at a lost. It was bedtime. I gave up my search. I climbed in to bed with a gloom that would beg Daddy to ask "What's wrong, Baby?" All the words and sentences rolling around in my head and "Nothing, Daddy" was said. Daddy replied with "It's OK, You tell me when your ready". He tucked me in then leaned in to kiss me. I grabbed both sides of his face, rubbed my nose back and forth against his nose and gave the sides of his face back. Nothing special, we do it all the time. Daddy went to Maritza, tucked her in, gave her a kiss and hug goodnight, and before he could pull away Maritza asked "What were you doing with, Alyssia?"
"Saying goodnight to her."
"No, the thing you were doing with your noses."
"Oh, they're called Eskimo kisses"
"Can you do that with me, Daddy?"
"Sure."
Maritza smiled, that made me smile. When Daddy was done he came back to give me my goodnight hug. He smiled, kissed me on the cheek, gave me another Eskimo kiss(I know what they're called now), and said "I'm glad to see you smiling. Goodnight baby, I love you."
Goodnight, Daddy. I love you too....
I do share something special with Daddy after all. Go Team Alyssia!!!
One month from now. The labels come off. I can not be accused of being a little girl. I will demand the respect given to Maritza. I will be a three year old. The change will take place now, I am aware of my sophistication, responsibility, and power. I've seen it, watched it, became a season ticket holder to the show that was my sister, Mrs Maritza Perez at age three, enough said. It's my turn. I have my hardships, right now with speaking. Difficulty saying my R's, L's, S's, and anything that starts with a C, K, or Q. It must be funny, though. I hear Daddy laugh sometimes. He says "It's cute, you struggle with the S and L, and they're in your name." Keep that sense of humor handy, for when we are plotting against you. Harmless playtime becomes plot-time. Maritza and I fully comprehensible to each other, turning "dealing with Daddy" into a science. I'm getting to that stage. Playing catch up with my big Sis is speeding the process. So when I does, sooner than later, its a wrap. .
Nowadays, Maritza steals, well not steals my attention from Daddy, more like distracts him from, the sweet and precious, fierce and ferocious little girl who is.........Alyssia Perez. The second daughter. Everyone knows this, It's a fact. Another fact is, I deserve the same amount, 50/50, right down the middle, treatment. I am happy to say, Daddy does an "alright" job dealing with Maritza not sharing. I mean treating us equally. Though, he seems to talk to her more than he does me. It's like a constant barrage of word after word, with them two. First Daddy, then Maritza. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, then Maritza again (Daddy loves to talk). Still, he doesn't talk with me like that. I stand on the sidelines. Listening to them "engage in conversation". It must be great to share something special with Daddy.
I thought about it all day. What do I and Daddy share between us? Everything he does with me, he does with Maritza. I was at the dinner table, with Maritza across from me. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Daddy gives Maritza a little more food on her plate, than on mine. OK , she's older. Besides that, nothing different. She has a fork, so do I. She has a spoon, again, so do I. We are done with dinner and a snack. It's off to the bathroom for a bath. I contemplate while Daddy puts shampoo and conditioner in Maritza's hair. He uses more for her because her hair is longer. Understandable. We use different toothpaste. I use the princess bubblegum flavored toothpaste, Maritza uses Daddy's mint toothpaste. I don't like the taste of mint. She does. Nothing special. We receive the same treatment....so was there nothing Him and I shared? I was at a lost. It was bedtime. I gave up my search. I climbed in to bed with a gloom that would beg Daddy to ask "What's wrong, Baby?" All the words and sentences rolling around in my head and "Nothing, Daddy" was said. Daddy replied with "It's OK, You tell me when your ready". He tucked me in then leaned in to kiss me. I grabbed both sides of his face, rubbed my nose back and forth against his nose and gave the sides of his face back. Nothing special, we do it all the time. Daddy went to Maritza, tucked her in, gave her a kiss and hug goodnight, and before he could pull away Maritza asked "What were you doing with, Alyssia?"
"Saying goodnight to her."
"No, the thing you were doing with your noses."
"Oh, they're called Eskimo kisses"
"Can you do that with me, Daddy?"
"Sure."
Maritza smiled, that made me smile. When Daddy was done he came back to give me my goodnight hug. He smiled, kissed me on the cheek, gave me another Eskimo kiss(I know what they're called now), and said "I'm glad to see you smiling. Goodnight baby, I love you."
Goodnight, Daddy. I love you too....
I do share something special with Daddy after all. Go Team Alyssia!!!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
When Did Politeness Become Funny?
September 26, 2012
Laughter is what our Daddy calls "The key to eternal youth.", and we've seen Daddy Enjoy a good laugh. Maybe, that's the reason why he looks so young. (your welcome Daddy). He says "A day you haven't laughed is a day you haven't lived." Daddy laugh's when he's happy, he laugh's when he's angry. They don't sound the same, but they're still a part of what you would consider, a reaction to something being "funny". Daddy has his chuckles of disbelief or amazement. The ones heard when we do something to make him proud or when we're trying to out wit him. Daddy has his few moments of loud roars of uncontrollable laughter, tear filled eyes, and lungs gasping for a break. Like when he's watching South Park or Family Guy, but usually it's when he's with our Titi Barbara or Tio Ben. It's simply incredible. When they get together and joke around, what joy and happiness. Like two best friends. It is truly a sight to see. Daddy also can't contain his laughter after seeing someone fall. We don't know what it is, that he finds so amusing. Pain is a joke? Sometimes he laughs when we fall. Not the serious ones, he comes running to check us from head to toe, for those. It's just the ones' that happen when we take his warnings for granted, like running in the house. He says it's better to laugh and pick yourself up, then it is to cry about it.. I still find it strange. Another situation I found peculiar, was the day Daddy laughed at a remark, purely intended to express my politeness.
Daddy was talking on the phone and he asked me if I would like to talk with Tio Ben. At the same time, I was playing with the bikes and three wheelers down stairs, while Daddy was washing our cloths. We don't often get the chance to play downstairs on the count of Daddy's fear of us being down there unattended. I had to enjoy every minute I could. So, when Daddy asked me if I wanted to speak with Tio Ben, I told him in a sweet, calm, confident tone "I don't want to talk to him right now, Daddy. No thank you...."
After a live lesson of what a "hearty chuckle" looked and sounded like, Daddy relaxed and told Tio Ben what I said. He told me Tio Ben said "It's probably too early for her." I heard Daddy tell him "That's not the the reason why. The reason is because she doesn't want to give up her spot on this bike she had her eyes on, when she got down here".....
Daddy was right. He usually is. He likes to keep others well informed of the truth. I thought I was being very adult. Daddy did thank me for being so polite. He said the reason he laughed was because he didn't expect me to answer in such a way......Well Daddy, you should expect what you teach us to be used in our everyday lives, and I'm glad I could return the favor and make you laugh, for a change.
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