Whats In A Name

January 2, 2013

 When we are born our parent or parents give us a name. Some are planned years or months in advance. Some are thought of at the day of birth, or days after. It is what we are called-our "label"-It is distinct. It belongs to us and only us. We use it everyday, and recognize it, when we hear it. Our name becomes and defines us, motivates and molds us. The way it is said projects intentions. From the very beginning, your name is on your birth certificate, written on your birthday cake, becomes your signature, and at the end of it all; ends up on your tombstone. You might have the same name as someone else, and still, your name feels unique when your Mommy or Daddy calls it; there's no doubt in your mind-they are calling you. We love to see our names in writing, on diplomas, degrees, and trophies. We like to see them in sports rosters, credits, and the spotlight. We love to hear it after the words, "The winner is, I love you, good job, and I missed you so much". The reversal to this is, we would rather not know our name, when we're asked "who did it?" or "who started it?" or when you hear your name called with such a tone, the only explanation is; You did something wrong. Our names are important to us.  Even more so, for adults considering they have had theirs a lot longer than we have. There are many who dislike and even despise their names. Whether they were named after someone they don't respect, named after something they don't like or perhaps they've grown tired of it all together and even have the desire to change it.  A few disregard their name, many embrace it.

 There is another form of  designation.  It could either be a shorter version of our name or something we have done to earn it.  They are called nicknames. They could be cute, ironic, obvious, irrelevant or funny. These nicknames-like our namesake-can be acquired during birth. Unlike our titles, it can be attained over time, in school, at work, through family members, through a childhood friend, or they can also be obtained by chance. Nicknames are created because they're easier to say, it's a traditional family by-name, or you gave it to yourself to better suit your likings. Lets face it, how could you get someones attention or how could you make contact with them from across a distance. What would yell out? Hey you? That could mean anyone. Daddy says our names so frequently, through the course of a day, it's almost as if he loves to hear himself say them. If it's not our names loud and clear, it's "pretty girl" or "baby" when he's getting upset.When the aggravation-shows it's smiling face-only towards me, you will here Mrs. Perez or simple baritone. Perez. Never have I heard him call us by anything else...He does have a habit of slipping and calling us by each others name, not frequently, but occasionally.

My question after the knowledge of this; Why do I hear parents call their children by other names? Is it that they don't like the name they gave to their offspring? Maybe, they made a mistake? Too difficult to pronounce? You would think after repeating it for years it would roll off the tongue like a melody. Instead, I hear names that can't possibly be their designated birth-name. A nick-name, maybe?  I've heard it in supermarkets, department stores, and other places parents reprimand. Calling their own creations "Stupid", "Dumb",  "Idiot", "Moron" or "Gay". How about "Retarded", "worthless", or "fat". Daddy doesn't let us use these words, but I'm only repeating what I've heard. Please don't tell Daddy. Ty. It hurts to hear these words; let alone imagine using these words as a description for a human being. Daddy told us we don't use bad words, at anytime anyone? No one likes to be called anything but their name. Even if, its "Tattle-Tail", "Copy- cat", "Meany" or "Greedy". We would rather hear the comfort of a familiar voice calling our name. Someone we love, saying our name with pride, confidence, and certainty. 

My question again is why would a parent call their children these things if its not their name? Are we not a product of our parents or guardians? Are we not their offspring? A chip off the old block? Like father like son? Like mother like daughter? If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree doesn't that imply that anything a parent chooses to call their child is just a description of themselves? If your child was brilliant as a result of your intelligence wouldn't you call him or her that. So it's safe to say, if you call your child stupid, it's in direct relation to your own stupidity?, and isn't name calling punishable by law? So I ask my Daddy. He looked at me; his hands preparing to sign(Daddy talks with his hands) and said " name calling is when there is a lack of vocabulary in a persons mind. When a person is unable to articulate their thoughts. They resort to name calling to escape they're trouble with the English language. It can also be when someone is so aggravated with someone-be it an adult or a child-they make the mistake of letting their temper get the best of them. Some feel regret after they realized what they had done and for some, name calling is all they were taught growing up; it's all they know.". "Did their mommy and daddy teach them to be that way?", Alyssia asked. "Unfortunately, it's sad to say, in most cases, yes". "Why, Daddy?". "That, I couldn't tell you, Alyssia."


 Daddy's eyes looked up from the floor. His gaze now on us; with a deep breath and said "I can tell you this, pretty girls, I will teach you to pay close attention to labels-much like any words you hear-to decipher whether or not they are a basic description, a polite gesture, a humorous term of endearment, a compliment, sign of respect, a display of affection, an insult, disrespect, abusive, or irrelevant. Along with that, comes my duty to educate you on the horrible truth of the untamed, undisciplined, and emotionally denied, the majority of our society's motivational inclination, and their indifference of the whole situation. It will be hard at times; I know. I just hope I can prepare you the best I can, for all this, and yet, it is not my greatest concern. My greatest concern is to train you to be aware of your surroundings, situation, possibilities, advantages, strategy and respect. To hard wire in you, the power and control you have over yourself. It is one of the many ways I can show you, I love you".
"We love you too, Daddy, but you could of just told us"
"I tell you I love you all the time, that's easy. Showing you through example is what makes me Daddy."