Fire-The Third Element

 September 26, 2012

Chapter 

1

 The Five classic elements. We hear about them all the time. Well, maybe not the fifth. We interact with them on a daily basis. It is apart of our lives. We could learn about them in school like most....or we could learn about them from our parents. In our case, from our Daddy. He says we can only enjoy them (like anything) in moderation.

Lets start with fire. Daddy has shown us fire. Fire, which helps us cook our meals together. We love it when Daddy asks us to help make the foods we eat. It gives us a sense of accomplishment and who wouldn't want to eat the food they prepared with their own two or six hands? He always reminds us to stay away from the flames and the hot surfaces it creates. He's very aggressive and assertive when he says this. Every single time we cook with him.

 On a less intense note, he has pointed out the warmth and calmness a fire can produce when we went to a friends house and Daddy let us sit in front of a fireplace. What a feeling. The heat was coming off the flames like magic. We were amazed how something so powerful could be confined in a box in the wall. Then something as dramatic as a dancing flame on a candle, can light up a room, to chase away the darkness.

 We would say we love fire, but we could remember when Daddy was driving around Dundalk following this tower of smoke. Daddy said it was created because a building had caught on fire. He wanted to see where. You would think this crazy of a man driving a minivan filled with three children(our sister Jazmine was with us at the time) but it wasn't. We finally found the source of the pillar of smoke. Daddy said it was the old Seagram's plant on Sollers Point Road, where they bottled soda. Daddy pulled over where the police block was put up. He parked and escorted us out. We were a safe distance away. We couldn't feel the heat, but we could see the flames bellowing out of the building.Creating black and gray smoke that shot up to the sky. It was truly a marvel to witness. We asked him, "Why did the building catch fire?". He said he didn't know. Then, we asked him "What were the firemen were doing?". He said "Trying to control the fire and put it out.". "Is the fire out of control?" we asked. He said "Not yet, but if the firemen don't extinguish the flames, the houses near by might catch fire. People live in those houses and they don't want to lose their homes." We watched for sometime as the firemen used water hoses to put out the flames. It wasn't as wonderful to see the flames this time. It was scary to the point Daddy said we had to leave, just in case the fire spread. We went to the van, got in, and drove away.

 Later that day Daddy told us the Firefighters beat the fire. No one was hurt and the houses around the old Seagram's building were untouched. Thank you, Firefighters. What an experience. Fire is truly a force to be reckoned with. Daddy says "You shouldn't play with fire because it doesn't play with you, It does exactly what its supposed to do. Burn and destroy. You should respect it.". We are grateful for the knowledge of new things. Daddy can see it in our eyes. He taught us something else you might find interesting. He said "The five elements are associated with the five senses, and act as the gross medium for the experience of sensations.  fire is the third highest on the list. It can be heard, felt and seen." That must be the reason Daddy always says "don't touch", and come to think of it, fire doesn't have a smell, only the object that is on fire does. Clever Daddy. Your the best.

If I Were A Boy

September 24, 2012

 Growing up is not hard to do. Being raised by a father that wants to educate and nurture you without the help of a mother (his or yours) isn't. I would like to say Daddy is trying or doing his best, but that would be an understatement. The definition of trying means "hard to endure, difficult times". My Daddy is exhibiting neither. He is confident in the way he is raising us and it seems to come easy to him, in the way he handles every situation. I even noticed him a few times, taking a deep breath, in and out and counting to four to calm himself down. Just like we've seen on Daniel tigers neighborhood. It's a children's show Daddy said they made from Mister Rogers neighborhood. Don't ask me who he is. I have no idea. The point is, Daddy is learning everyday as much, if not more, as we are, and that's what makes him our Daddy.

 Not too long ago, Daddy jokingly suggested we take a shower instead of a bath before we went to bed. Expecting us to say no, as usual, but little did he know, Alyssia and I would agree. After all, adults take showers and we were big girls now  so, it only seems fit that we take a shower too. Daddy asked if we were sure. We said yes. Ever since that day, anytime we want to take a shower, we do. For instance, just yesterday, we asked Daddy if we can take a shower. I think we like it so much because it feels like rain pouring on our heads. Indoor rain, what a joy. While we were getting undressed, I asked Daddy if he can take a shower with us. Daddy said he couldn't. He said seriously "Nooo, I can't take a shower with you, I'm a man and you're girls. We're just not supposed to take showers together". That's when I said "Then I wish I was a boy, Daddy." He looked at me, laughed and said "Really?"
"Yea, because when we were living at The Apples house we took a shower with Bean. She's a girl, If I were a boy I could take a shower with my Daddy"  He laughed again, kissed me on the forehead, lifted me into the bathtub, and said "There are somethings in life that a father cannot do with his daughters and taking a bath or shower together is one of them" I looked at him with concern and asked "What are the other things we can't do together?"
"I'll tell you when the time comes, Maritza. I don't want to rush things. I want you to stay my little girl as long as you possibly can. Don't want you growing up, faster than you already are" I didn't really understand what he meant because I knew, no matter what age I am, I will always be Daddy's little girl.

Is The Bitter Truth Better Than A Sweet Lie?

September 22, 2012

 What were to happen if everyone was handed the bitter truth? Would the world and its inhabitants be ugly and gruesome or would we deal with it and in time learn to adapt? The reason I ask is simple. Every time I mention my mother to Daddy, he doesn't seem to have much to say on the matter. Is it because he doesn't want to hurt me or is the reason why Daddy can only utter a sentence, is because he's selfish, and wants to keep us all to himself? Well, I don't think either reason is fair. Do you? I wonder about his motives sometimes, and about hers. Did she find a new family? Did she become the CEO of a fortune five thousand company and will take Daddy away from his struggle? Did she move to a tropical island in a remote part of the world and already sent us a postcard that says "wish you were here"? Is she being loved and treated like a Queen? Daddy always says we're his little princesses. So, she must be the Queen. From what I remember, she was tall and powerful. She had long flowing hair and these green, hazel eyes, that I see every time I look into the mirror. When those eyes look back at me, I just want to know. Are you happy, Mommy?

 I know, your probably asking yourself the same question I've been asking myself. Do I really want to know, if she is happy? If she's not, that would mean she is brokenhearted and would do anything to erase that pain and see her little girls at any cost. On the other hand, if she is happy, that would mean she is just fine without us in her life. Is there a gray area when it comes to your children? Starting to understand my dilemma? A four year old should not have to ponder these questions or even ask. Alyssia will be three in less than two months. She only knew our mother for a little over half her life. Will she ask Daddy about her when she gets older? Again with the questions, and still no answers. All I get from Daddy is "she loves you too, Maritza", "she also misses you", and my personal favorite "She is working on her life, when she's done, I'm sure you'll see her again"....and my question is..

WHEN DADDY!? WHEN WILL WE SEE HER!? WHEN SHE PASSES ONE OF US ON THE STREET, AND WE DON'T RECOGNIZE HER, OR WORSE SHE STOPS US BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHAT WE LOOK LIKE, BECAUSE SHE WATCHED US GROW UP FROM OUR PICTURES ON FACEBOOK, AND TRIES TO TELL US HOW SORRY SHE IS FOR THE MISTAKES SHE MADE!? WAIT, I GOT IT SHE'LL TRY TO TELL US, YOU(THE ONLY PERSON WE HAVE IN THE WORLD) TOOK US AWAY FROM HER!? COME ON DADDY!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!? YOU CAN TELL ME. I'M A BIG GIRL!!! YOU CAN TELL ALYSSIA WHEN SHE GROWS UP. I WANT TO KNOW NOW! I WON'T SAY ANYTHING!!! I PROMISE!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!! TELL ME SOMETHING!!! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO KNOW!!!


 I don't think I need to apologize for my outburst and after all that I've said, I will ask you again. Would you rather hear the bitter truth or a sweet lie?, because I would love to know the difference.

If I Had One Wish

September 21, 2012

 A long walk with my Daddy and my little sis, either to the supermarket, the  playground, or just a walk down the block and back. Its one of the many pleasures I indulge in. During our walks I enjoy walking on lawns, picking flowers, and jumping off steps. I've learned if I hold Daddy's hand, I can jump more than just two. Speaking of two, I have two questions. Do you remember where you were, or what you were doing, that made you feel like nothing in the world can harm you? Did it make you feel like a little girl holding her daddy's hand while crossing the street? If not, you should try it. There is nothing like holding a big, strong, powerful hand, from a man with a grip, that says "I will never let you go and I will never let anything hurt you". One of the reasons why I love our walks. Another reason. Picking flowers! I love picking flowers, even leaves. I ask Daddy to pull branches down so that I might pick the most prettiest leaves to add to my collection. An assortment of colors. I pick them for Daddy, and in return I receive the most beautiful and brightest smile. Daddy puts them in his pocket. He has a collection of them in his room. He says its his little bouquet, from his little lady. 

 Today, while walking back from the supermarket, Daddy pointed out some pretty white flowers. I didn't see them because I was on top of the hill of someones' lawn. I came down to see the flowers and picked one. Daddy said to make sure there weren't any bugs in them. I went to smell it and Daddy was right. My flower had a few ants in it. I threw the flower down and ran to Daddy. I cried. I wanted to pick a flower that didn't have bugs in it. Daddy suggested I pick this flower he called a wish, a dandelion. It was all by itself, sitting in the middle of a grass. I could hear Daddy saying "Be careful with it. You don't want to lose any of those fluffy seeds on it. You might not get what you wish for". After hearing that, I made sure I didn't. I picked it as gently as I could. As I ran back to Daddy and Alyssia, Daddy again warned me of the cost of losing any seeds. I told him I wouldn't because of the importance of my wish. I then asked Daddy "how do I make my wish?" He said "you ask for your wish, don't tell anyone or it might not come true, then you blow all the fluffiness off the flower"
"Is that all I have to do to get my wish, Daddy?", "Yes Maritza, that's all."

 That's when I looked at Daddy(even though he said not to tell my wish) and said "I wish I could see my Mommy" He looked at me with a sense of helplessness and sorrow and said "I bet she want to see you to" I became so excited that I waved my hands back and forth, to find I had lost half of my flower in the wind. I cried to Daddy, that I didn't get a chance to make my wish. He held me in his arms and told me he will find another one, no matter what. The rest of the walk home Daddy kept looking. We were almost home. No flower for me. No hope for Maritza. Just then, Daddy saw one that was so far away, I didn't believe him, until he picked my wish up, walked it over to me, guarding it with his life and said "hurry up and make your wish. One day it will come true."
I thanked Daddy and made my wish. The seeds were floating through the air like a bunch of teeny tiny fairies. It was beautiful to see and just as beautiful to know, Daddy wanted my wish to come true as much as I did. Maybe with the two of us wanting it, it will.

Newton's Law Of Motion Is The Same As Daddy's

September 13, 2012

 There are laws in this world. Too many, to mention them all. Still, there are a few that need to be brought to light, brought to your attention. They describe the relationship between the forces acting on a body(our Daddy's) and its motion due to these forces. In layman's terms, No matter what happens to Daddy and what hardships he has to endure, he will never stop trying to raise us with the best of his ability. It would be easier on Daddy's momentum if he does not experience these forces, but Daddy says "If the path to your goal wasn't filled with extreme privation, the reward would not feel as gratifying. If everything was so undemanding then anyone could do it and how would we distinguish the strong from the weak, the ambitious from the unambitious "

 In our experience, Daddy is strength. Our strength, our motivation. He is always moving forward, always busy, never at rest. We pick up this habit, involuntary. We know this because of the children we witness throughout our lives, that show signs of their own parents habits. We see the laziness, malnutrition, unconcerned, and indifferent. We see who is in control and who is out of control. We know the difference between growing up and actually being raised. Daddy says "Those who stand for nothing fall for anything". We are taught respect and are subjected to common sense and logic in Daddy's every word and every action. This is the movement. Daddy's movement. Which can not be stopped, or persuaded. Only decelerated, due to the forces out there that don't want to understand, wake up or realize. They only want to live their own lives despite the outcome or impact on another life. Even if that life belongs to their own flesh and blood.

  A person moving in a negative or positive direction is irrelevant to the law. What remains pertinent is, that person will indefinitely continue on their path as long as there is a force no greater in mass to deter it. We believe Daddy is that greater force. To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction. That is why it requires more effort to do the right thing, at all times.
"To enlighten is far more difficult than to entertain" (Antonio Perez Jr.)
When you exert a force greater than another, you over power it, but sooner or later, an equal and opposite force will present itself. Like a bully in school, will sooner or later meet its match. This is the law of motion in its simplest purist form. So whether it be the strength, intelligence, know-how, passion, drive, confidence or emotion of an object. It will meet with an identical opposite, that will test, strengthen or break those attributes. We would like to thank and condemn all those who have made it harder for our Daddy. You have made him stronger than he was and have shown us the weakness in your soul. If the efforts you make to hurt the ones around you, were used to make yourself a better person, a better parent, than you were a year ago, our future might actually seem less bleak. Be that opposing force. Don't leave it for someone else to decide. Plain and simple, If you won't lead or follow, Get out of Daddy's way.


  A side note: If this (our interpretation of this law) is overwhelming and overbearing. We need not apologize for this. Instead, we suggest you pick up a book, read a dictionary, ask questions, seek information, desire more than your day can provide, learn from your mistakes, and educate yourself, because the only thing worse than someone who doesn't know is someone who doesn't want to know.

Mardi Gra

August 28th 2012


 Our eyes constantly, without interruption, are on our Daddy. He doesn't know we watch. So he leads us to believe. I watch him. He watches me. I listen. He listens. He looks away, busy with the goings on of life. Cleaning, cooking, phone calls, and adult responsibility. It's at these moments of distractions that Daddy is at his purist. I watch his movement around the house. I can hear it in his voice when he speaks. The sadness is seen in his eyes... Everything about Daddy is revealed in those eyes. We can tell when he's happy and full of life. We can also tell when Daddy is worried about what will happen next. Lately, it has been pretty difficult to watch him. To a stranger, it would seem as if the world was on his side. Mr. Happy Go Lucky. If you were me or Alyssia you would disagree. His happy mask was torn, tattered, and broken.

 The "happy mask" that Daddy wears(among many) is worn to ease or disguise the pain, to prevent the world from knowing the truth of his emotions. This mask is smooth around the edges. An oval shape brightly colored like a sunrise over the ocean. A blend of visual hospitality. The swirls of Spring colors, yellow, orange, and pink dancing on a stage of baby blue, directed your eyes one quarter of the ways  down from the top. There you would find the signs of human contact inviting you, to an engaging dance of eye to eye contact.  The forehead, cheeks, and chin shined with bright stars of inspiration, even in the dark. Indicating it was more radiance than reflection. It wasn't blinding or overwhelming. It was calming, soothing, helpful and reassuring. Around the mouth a collection of lines following a smile that portrayed joy and satisfaction. A pleasure to behold and basks in its glow. I especially loved this one, Not number one on my list, but a close second.

 It's hard to tell when Daddy wears this mask, due to the fact of its close resemblance to his own day to day expression. Still, we see through it. He can't fool us. He tries to protect us, but to keep it from us, is like keeping it from himself. We're strong, like Daddy is. We can handle what he calls "adult circumstances". Why does he keep his frowns from us? His sadness from us? He says its not important and we don't need to deal with the problems of adulthood, until we reach adulthood. I think nothing is as important as Daddy at any age, young or old. "You don't need to wear a mask for us, Daddy. You don't need to hide under it. We are big girls. We want to see your true smile again" and with that Daddy says "My true smile are the ones worn by my pretty little girls. I will do everything in my power to avoid you from going through, what I am going through. I will wear my masks of joy and content, to shield you from the pain, the desperation, the heartache, the sorrow, and the worry. I will bear these emotions and deliver you happiness, because you (my precious little girls) are the reason a genuine smile can still be seen under any mask I wear, under any condition, and under any circumstance. I thank you. You give me the ability to press on"