Mardi Gra

August 28th 2012


 Our eyes constantly, without interruption, are on our Daddy. He doesn't know we watch. So he leads us to believe. I watch him. He watches me. I listen. He listens. He looks away, busy with the goings on of life. Cleaning, cooking, phone calls, and adult responsibility. It's at these moments of distractions that Daddy is at his purist. I watch his movement around the house. I can hear it in his voice when he speaks. The sadness is seen in his eyes... Everything about Daddy is revealed in those eyes. We can tell when he's happy and full of life. We can also tell when Daddy is worried about what will happen next. Lately, it has been pretty difficult to watch him. To a stranger, it would seem as if the world was on his side. Mr. Happy Go Lucky. If you were me or Alyssia you would disagree. His happy mask was torn, tattered, and broken.

 The "happy mask" that Daddy wears(among many) is worn to ease or disguise the pain, to prevent the world from knowing the truth of his emotions. This mask is smooth around the edges. An oval shape brightly colored like a sunrise over the ocean. A blend of visual hospitality. The swirls of Spring colors, yellow, orange, and pink dancing on a stage of baby blue, directed your eyes one quarter of the ways  down from the top. There you would find the signs of human contact inviting you, to an engaging dance of eye to eye contact.  The forehead, cheeks, and chin shined with bright stars of inspiration, even in the dark. Indicating it was more radiance than reflection. It wasn't blinding or overwhelming. It was calming, soothing, helpful and reassuring. Around the mouth a collection of lines following a smile that portrayed joy and satisfaction. A pleasure to behold and basks in its glow. I especially loved this one, Not number one on my list, but a close second.

 It's hard to tell when Daddy wears this mask, due to the fact of its close resemblance to his own day to day expression. Still, we see through it. He can't fool us. He tries to protect us, but to keep it from us, is like keeping it from himself. We're strong, like Daddy is. We can handle what he calls "adult circumstances". Why does he keep his frowns from us? His sadness from us? He says its not important and we don't need to deal with the problems of adulthood, until we reach adulthood. I think nothing is as important as Daddy at any age, young or old. "You don't need to wear a mask for us, Daddy. You don't need to hide under it. We are big girls. We want to see your true smile again" and with that Daddy says "My true smile are the ones worn by my pretty little girls. I will do everything in my power to avoid you from going through, what I am going through. I will wear my masks of joy and content, to shield you from the pain, the desperation, the heartache, the sorrow, and the worry. I will bear these emotions and deliver you happiness, because you (my precious little girls) are the reason a genuine smile can still be seen under any mask I wear, under any condition, and under any circumstance. I thank you. You give me the ability to press on"