September 22, 2012
What were to happen if everyone was handed the bitter truth? Would the world and its inhabitants be ugly and gruesome or would we deal with it and in time learn to adapt? The reason I ask is simple. Every time I mention my mother to Daddy, he doesn't seem to have much to say on the matter. Is it because he doesn't want to hurt me or is the reason why Daddy can only utter a sentence, is because he's selfish, and wants to keep us all to himself? Well, I don't think either reason is fair. Do you? I wonder about his motives sometimes, and about hers. Did she find a new family? Did she become the CEO of a fortune five thousand company and will take Daddy away from his struggle? Did she move to a tropical island in a remote part of the world and already sent us a postcard that says "wish you were here"? Is she being loved and treated like a Queen? Daddy always says we're his little princesses. So, she must be the Queen. From what I remember, she was tall and powerful. She had long flowing hair and these green, hazel eyes, that I see every time I look into the mirror. When those eyes look back at me, I just want to know. Are you happy, Mommy?
I know, your probably asking yourself the same question I've been asking myself. Do I really want to know, if she is happy? If she's not, that would mean she is brokenhearted and would do anything to erase that pain and see her little girls at any cost. On the other hand, if she is happy, that would mean she is just fine without us in her life. Is there a gray area when it comes to your children? Starting to understand my dilemma? A four year old should not have to ponder these questions or even ask. Alyssia will be three in less than two months. She only knew our mother for a little over half her life. Will she ask Daddy about her when she gets older? Again with the questions, and still no answers. All I get from Daddy is "she loves you too, Maritza", "she also misses you", and my personal favorite "She is working on her life, when she's done, I'm sure you'll see her again"....and my question is..
WHEN DADDY!? WHEN WILL WE SEE HER!? WHEN SHE PASSES ONE OF US ON THE STREET, AND WE DON'T RECOGNIZE HER, OR WORSE SHE STOPS US BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHAT WE LOOK LIKE, BECAUSE SHE WATCHED US GROW UP FROM OUR PICTURES ON FACEBOOK, AND TRIES TO TELL US HOW SORRY SHE IS FOR THE MISTAKES SHE MADE!? WAIT, I GOT IT SHE'LL TRY TO TELL US, YOU(THE ONLY PERSON WE HAVE IN THE WORLD) TOOK US AWAY FROM HER!? COME ON DADDY!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!? YOU CAN TELL ME. I'M A BIG GIRL!!! YOU CAN TELL ALYSSIA WHEN SHE GROWS UP. I WANT TO KNOW NOW! I WON'T SAY ANYTHING!!! I PROMISE!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!! TELL ME SOMETHING!!! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO KNOW!!!
I don't think I need to apologize for my outburst and after all that I've said, I will ask you again. Would you rather hear the bitter truth or a sweet lie?, because I would love to know the difference.
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