I Miss My Mommy

 July 2, 2012

Why I did it? My Daddy will never know. Mind you, my Daddy is a very knowledgeable man, but he doesn't know everything. "Sorry Daddy you're only human" I have never seen a more confused look on my Daddy's face than the moment I told my Daddy "I don't love you when mommy's here" This was said casually after our usual routine of getting ready for bed. Alyssia and I tucked in, Daddy on his way out the door, and the rest is history.
"Good night Alyssia. Good night Maritza, I love you"
" I love you too, Daddy"
"I don't love you when mommy's here."
"Where, Maritza?"
"In our house"
"So, you don't love me, Maritza?"
"I don't when mommy's here, in our house. No, I don't"
"..........,You don't love me? Alyssia, do you love me"
"I love you, Daddy"
"Alyssia loves me, Maritza"
"Do you love me Maritza"
"Yes, But not when mommy's here"
"Well, I love you, Maritza."
"Daddy?..... I miss mommy"
"She misses you too, baby"
"Good night, my pretty girls"
"Good night, Daddy"
We received extra kisses and hugs after our little conversation. Daddy looked like he had a lot on his mind. I wonder what he could be thinking. Maybe, what he wanted to say, at that very moment was...

I miss my mommy too, Maritza. I miss making her proud, being her baby boy, and I simply miss making her smile. I miss feeling safe, her strength, and her confidence. I miss my first true love. I miss being her mommas boy. I miss knowing the women who set the mark, who demonstrated "independent woman", and who raised a daughter and twin son's. one who is crippled and the other two, only eighteen months younger than their sister. I miss love without attachments, loving without worry, and being truly loved. I miss  "a phone call away", "a hop, skip, and a jump",  and "a stones throw"  I miss my family, my sister, my brother. I miss having a Mommy, having a witness of my childhood, and having somebody. I miss my tears of joy when I think of her, my smile when I see her, and my hug when I need her. ..I miss my Mommy, Maritza and you have every right to miss yours.....remember one thing...be grateful like I am,  that a women called mommy carried you for 9 months. Thank you mommy.