July 9, 2012
I received a letter from my Daddy. He said this letter might help explain the way I was feeling. I'll read it one day. You can read it now.
To my first born, Maritza,
I love you. You are the most precious thing in my world. I couldn't ask for anything more than to see you on a day to day basis. You are beautiful. Gorgeous like your mother. I called her that everyday of our "life" together. Life is a fantastic thing, pretty girl. Unfortunately, we are all victims of circumstance and that's when life becomes ugly and uncertain but, through that uncertainty still lies one constant. One undeniable truth. The one thing that can not, should not, and will not be altered by circumstance in any way. That is my love for my daughters, a mothers love for her child, and a fathers love for his child! Without question. No excuses. No doubt. No reason. So, none will be given. The truth, is what I want and expect from you. You shouldn't expect anything less.
Mommy....I don't know where she is, what she is doing, or how she has been. The only thing I know about mommy is she loves you with all her heart, she will never forget about her two youngest baby girls, and she is so sorry she hasn't been around. I also want to apologize to you Maritza. Deep down inside, I also feel mommy would of called on your birthday and for that, I'm sorry. I couldn't keep my phone activated any longer. It was time to cut out expenses in my life to compensate for "my" circumstances. I did get a new one and I will make sure mommy gets the new number. In life we all make mistakes. We all have our decisions to make and we are all responsible for our own actions. You will know this in your life because I know this in my life.
My Maritza. My baby girl. My everything. Live life to the fullest, baby. There's nothing to be afraid of. Let me take your worries, your fears, and your burdens, so that they won't slow you down. Let me be your guide, your passage, your light through the darkness, so that you may experience flower covered hills, bright blue skies and the sun shining on your face instead of the gloomy, morbid social acceptance of reality. You will read this one day and wonder "Did Daddy loose his mind? What was he thinking? Is Daddy crazy?"
Far from it, only about my girls, and yes. I am crazy. If crazy is thinking I can raise my girls with respect, logic, and common sense. If crazy means doing everything I can to help you grow up instead of watch you grow up, help you with your tears instead of create them, and do everything I can to show you I love you, instead of just telling you I do.... I love you Maritza and, Alyssia the same. This will never change. It's funny, there is a saying that goes "never say never"......I think I found the exception to the rule.
What do you say when "I love you" isn't enough?
I'm proud to be your father, Maritza
I received a letter from my Daddy. He said this letter might help explain the way I was feeling. I'll read it one day. You can read it now.
To my first born, Maritza,
I love you. You are the most precious thing in my world. I couldn't ask for anything more than to see you on a day to day basis. You are beautiful. Gorgeous like your mother. I called her that everyday of our "life" together. Life is a fantastic thing, pretty girl. Unfortunately, we are all victims of circumstance and that's when life becomes ugly and uncertain but, through that uncertainty still lies one constant. One undeniable truth. The one thing that can not, should not, and will not be altered by circumstance in any way. That is my love for my daughters, a mothers love for her child, and a fathers love for his child! Without question. No excuses. No doubt. No reason. So, none will be given. The truth, is what I want and expect from you. You shouldn't expect anything less.
Mommy....I don't know where she is, what she is doing, or how she has been. The only thing I know about mommy is she loves you with all her heart, she will never forget about her two youngest baby girls, and she is so sorry she hasn't been around. I also want to apologize to you Maritza. Deep down inside, I also feel mommy would of called on your birthday and for that, I'm sorry. I couldn't keep my phone activated any longer. It was time to cut out expenses in my life to compensate for "my" circumstances. I did get a new one and I will make sure mommy gets the new number. In life we all make mistakes. We all have our decisions to make and we are all responsible for our own actions. You will know this in your life because I know this in my life.
My Maritza. My baby girl. My everything. Live life to the fullest, baby. There's nothing to be afraid of. Let me take your worries, your fears, and your burdens, so that they won't slow you down. Let me be your guide, your passage, your light through the darkness, so that you may experience flower covered hills, bright blue skies and the sun shining on your face instead of the gloomy, morbid social acceptance of reality. You will read this one day and wonder "Did Daddy loose his mind? What was he thinking? Is Daddy crazy?"
Far from it, only about my girls, and yes. I am crazy. If crazy is thinking I can raise my girls with respect, logic, and common sense. If crazy means doing everything I can to help you grow up instead of watch you grow up, help you with your tears instead of create them, and do everything I can to show you I love you, instead of just telling you I do.... I love you Maritza and, Alyssia the same. This will never change. It's funny, there is a saying that goes "never say never"......I think I found the exception to the rule.
What do you say when "I love you" isn't enough?
I'm proud to be your father, Maritza
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