Daddy, Can I Talk With You?

``November 9, 2012


  You know the feeling when you're trying to get your point across or finish your sentence and someone constantly interrupts you? The agony the brain feels when it is done processing information and comes to a conclusion, and you're not allowed express it? I feel it everyday I come into a battle of wits with my Daddy. It starts of slow and easy then erupts into a all out war of the minds. At the height of our quarrel, it is sufficient to say, I do not posses the capacity of knowledge that he does, and I may not have lived as long as him, but I want to be heard! Daddy claims, he knows what I am about to say from the first couple words and a close observation of my body language. OK, that's fine, but I want to hear my sentence from the first word to the very last. I don't want to lose my train of thought even for an instant. When that happens, I begin to direct my anger at him, instead of the reason for my anger. I begin to lose my grasp on the conversation, confusion sets in, I start to doubt my own words, shortly after, my mind. I want to be confident like his assertiveness towards Alyssia and I. Speaking of which, I could only imagine the moment Alyssia and I, team up and utilize the very skills, confidence, common sense, and deductive logic used to raise, discipline, sculpt, and train us.

 There's a phrase Daddy's been using for the past couple of months? He says something to inform us of his grasp on the situation, then ends with "It's because I smart". We have been taught how to speak, so we know that sentence is inappropriate. Me, being the smart one(not to mention the only one between Alyssia and myself to articulate our words) I would tell him "It's not, I smart, It's I'm smart" After numerous attempts of correction, he gets the hint and follows with a corrected "I am smart". It took some patience, something Daddy says we do not have, I beg to differ. We have as much patience as the next kid. Still, Daddy says we should practice having patience more often. In return, Daddy should make it a point to practice the same, but I'm wouldn't say that directly to him. Out of respect and all, a characteristic learned by example. Much like hearing us out, letting us finish our sentences, anger, serenity, passiveness, frustration, aggressiveness, and politeness, right?  "Monkey see, monkey do. What I see you do, I do too!"  We soak it up like a sponge and squeeze out what we don't need and retain the rest.  My question, is it his personality that hinders his ability to hear us out or is it his "parenting skills" hard at work? I haven't quite figured that one out, yet.

  Daddy's parenting skills are resilient, unyielding and relentless. Here's a tiny tidbit of information to help you to understand his ways. Daddy always ask us a question, and when I say that I mean, when he notices us doing something we need correction or guidance on he will ask a Question. He has been like this since I've known him. He would ask us "Why would you?", "How could you?, or "Are you supposed to be doing that?" Rarely, do we receive a demand or an order and only when he reaches his boiling point, but he does well at keeping his composure and asking questions. I asked him "why?", and his reply was "I ask because I want you to realize(one of Daddy's favorite words) what is going on, I want you to be aware(another one of Daddy's favorites) of what you girls are doing. Anyone can belt out commands in hope that you listen out of fear. I want you to be aware (there's that word again) of your actions and their consequences."

 One evening, halfway through our dinner, without any food in my mouth(I know how he gets), I said "Daddy, can I have more,  when I am done eating? Daddy finished chewing, swallowed, and asked with a crinkle between his brow and a look that could kill "Why are you asking for more, when you haven't even finished whats on your plate? That's called being greedy" I replied with my "newly invented way" of beginning a sentence when I talk to him, "But, Daddy! I was just asking for more because"- Daddy interrupts with "I asked you, why would you ask for more and you're not finished with what you have?"-"But Daddy! I was asking because I"- again he silences me. His voice is stronger and deeper than my tiny voice, even though I've learned how to project it more. "Why don't you concern yourself with what's in front of you?" he said again with a question "But Daddy"-an echo with bass, follows "But, Daddy?" His words are not yelled out or said out of anger. They are confident, and overpowering, with each sentence, the instinct to reply becomes overwhelming to the point of overbearing. "You don't have to begin every sentence with, but Daddy."

 Daddy is quick with his words, to get a word in edgewise is an accomplishment that I had to achieve at this very moment in our discussion. I looked at him across the table and said "Daddy!!" I didn't yell(that would infuriate him),"Can I talk with you?". "Sure " he replied. "Go ahead" I stared him in the eyes as I told him "The reason I wanted more is because it's so good and I don't know if there is going to be any left" He looked at me with a laughter behind his words and said in the form of another question "What if you aren't hungry after you're done eating? How about we wait until you are done, and if you still want more, I'll get you more. Does that sound good to you?" "Yes, Daddy" I said, then he returns with "good, now wasn't that easier?" With a mouth full of food, I shook my head yes. In my mind I was thinking the same. "If he was referring to the fact he finally listened?", Yes I would have to agree. It was easier. So, I've come to the conclusion, that I have to be as persistent as Daddy is, when it comes to teaching him how to listen.  To me.