You Will Be In My Life Forever And Thats The Reason Why

June 29, 2012

I wonder why you had to leave, Why won't you stay instead.
I start to cry, you had to leave "We have no choice" you said.
I wonder why you can't return. Do you, want me to beg.
I fall to my knees, hands held firm. Listen to what I said.
Please don't go, I need you here now. Questions I have to ask.
please don't go, I need you here now. Such a difficult task.
I need you here, just like before. I feel so all alone.
I need you here, walk through the door. Don't want to be alone.
I think of all the memories. So many that I have.
I think of all the memories and that's what makes me sad.
There are so many memories. We're supposed to create.
You, not there, are the memories. I can't help escape.
I'll remember you forever. Forever in my heart.
No one is promised forever. We've know it from the start?
I thought we all lived forever and didn't question, why?
You will be in my life forever and that's the reason why?

My Barbie Told Me She's So Hot...

How Hot Is She?!!

June 28, 2012


 I don't know? Seriously! I left her outside in the backyard. We were on our way to the pool. I put her down and forgot about my Barbie. I wonder if she's OK?....She probably is. She's a smart doll. Right now, she's sitting back and taking in the sun. Yea, that's it. She's catching a tan. She had a nice light brown complexion before, now shes going to look even better. Speaking of dark complexions my Daddy has one. His Mommy Is from Puerto Rico and his father is from Cuba. Alyssia and I get our tanning abilities from both our mommy and Daddy. More Daddy. Mommy is a "Baltimore mixture" with Polish descent and she tans surprisingly well.

 I was thinking.... The sun must be angry today. I can feel it burning me if I stay in it to long. That's why we're going swimming in the pool. Yeah swimming!!, but what about my Barbie? She's browning in the sun as we speak. She doesn't even have sunblock to put on and thinking nothing of it. Oh Barbie. Do you know what happens to plastic when it is exposed to high temperatures? The other toys are safe in the house under a cool climate and your outside baking in the sun. Haven't you even noticed, your the only one out there in the sun?!! Find some shade!!!! It's not worth it!! I don't need a melted Barbie!!!I need you, Intact!!...........Please find some shade!! I'm the one who left you out there. I'm so sorry.

I hope you're OK.

Will You Grow Tired Of Us

June 27, 2012

We were with our Daddy in 7/11. Its a store where we live. I asked Daddy why they called it 7-11? Daddy said he thinks it was when they first changed their store hours to 7am to 11pm/7 days a week. Daddy knows everything and I mean everything.After this incident, I was sure to put that to the test.

We were standing in line waiting to make our purchase. Daddy says "You are not allowed to open anything in a store until you pay for it" makes sense. understood. We were watching a Mommy and her two sons waiting patiently behind a young lady, who was just about done with her transaction.The kids had to be no older than 8 and 10 years of age. Clean, well groomed, and they were well behaved as far as we could see. Who are we to judge. Daddy says "don't call it judging someone, call it observing" The Mommy was well dressed, nice posture(it says a lot), and was waiting patiently Nothing unusual. So, the young lady in front of them walked out the door and before the door could close the clerk at the register said politely "Can I help you?" The Mommy, who standing behind her children and clearly needing a clear path to get to the counter says two her offspring, and I quote."Move. Move out of the way. Move. Come on boys, move!"....It wasn't aggressive. It wasn't meant to be taken lightly either. It had me thinking the whole ride home. I waited until we were home to ask my Daddy a simple question.

"Will you grow tired of us, Daddy?
We saw the Mommy in the store. When she needed to get by her two sons, instead of asking them politely to let her pass. She Told them  "move, move out of my way"-
"And, you think she grew tired of them because of that?"
"Yes. She looked like she took care of herself and she had complete control of the boys. They looked well mannered. Why else would she resort to saying something as rude and simple as "MOVE." Instead of  a polite, "excuse me, please". It reminds us of our situation and how well behaved you hear we are, from anyone that watches us. Your well groomed and you just about taught us everything we know. What if that happens to us when we're around the same age as those boys?"
"I still don't see how her growing tired has anything to do with us, GIRLS"
 "When are you going to grow tired of keeping up the facade of caring with all your heart, thinking about our well being night and day, living to set an example, and doing whatever it takes to ensure a meaningful and fulfilled passage through life? YOUR LIFE!?! When are you going to grow tired  of  believing you can be any different, Daddy? When?!"
Then Daddy Said two things that will stay with me forever. the first thing he said was "Listen close girls and never forget this. I am different and because you are my children, you will also be different. I'm not worried about anything at all because I know we have each other. I will never grow tired of Daddy's beautiful little girls and telling you this is not enough. Give it time and I will show you over and over that you are my excitement, my joy, my source of wonder, my everything. I love you girls"
"We love you to Daddy"
The second thing he said came after we asked him "So why then, did that Mommy say that towards her boys? Daddy just replied "I'm sorry that I just don't know"

What My Daddy Heard

June 26, 2012

Daddy was talking to a friend and she told him something he thought was interesting. So, he decided to "spread the knowledge" with us and we decided to spread it to you. The phrase is as follows.

"You should start your life out crying with everyone around you smiling and you should end your life smiling with everyone around you crying"

I asked Daddy what it means. He said "It means you have to live life to the fullest, spread good will towards others, make a positive impact in someones life, or to put it simply. Have no regrets. Life is what you make of it."
"Correction Daddy. Our life, is what you make it, we live life to the fullest only when you're in it, and the example you show to us will be what we show to you and the world"

 

Our Competition

June 25, 2012

You are the reason we have so many nice things. Daddy calls them "the perks of life". We live in a beautiful home, with our own playroom, and a huge backyard. We have a pretty blue van Daddy calls Patty and we have the prettiest cloths and shoes for all seasons. Each one of these things could not be possible, if it not for you. My Daddy's profession. His job. My Daddy is off to see you almost everyday. Your are a major part of his life. Sometimes he brings the frustration of dealing with you, home with him. He just isn't his lively self, he's looks tired, and he's lost most of his patience for our "cute" games. Still, we want to thank you. You are an inspiration to us, as an example of responsibility on a daily bases. You show us that sleeping all day is abnormal and you are the norm. but we know exactly what you are and we know exactly what you're doing. We've had our eyes on you for sometime now. Do you think we would actually ignore our competition? Think again and know this. We are the perks in his life. We need his full attention. We occupy his thoughts. We are the reason he wakes up in the morning, not you. We are even the reason he sees you and we are the reason Daddy says he, continues to see you. Do you understand? Here's something that might help...

DADDY DOESN'T LIKE YOU! HE THINKS YOUR UGLY!! HE DOESN'T LIKE THE FACT THAT YOU MAKE HIM TOO EXHAUSTED TO ENJOY TIME WITH HIS LITTLE GIRLS!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE!!

KNOW THIS!! NO ONE WILL COME BEFORE WE DO!! WE ARE HIS FIRST, SECOND AND THIRD!!! MOCK OUR WORDS "IF DADDY DOESN'T LIKE IT HE WILL CHANGE IT" SO, SAY YOUR FAREWELLS!! YOU WON'T BE MISSED!

I Hate To See Him Mad At Me

June 24, 2012

I didn't mean it. It happened without warning. You could say it slipped out, but Daddy would say "it could only slip out if you were preventing yourself from saying it in the first place". I don't know why it sounded as if I've said this before. It was a mistake. I could still see the emotion on my Daddy's face as it projected his shame and disbelief. His little baby girl, had crossed the boundaries of proper language.  When Ive seen Daddy at his quietest is when he is at his angriest. It's better to let him calm himself down. DO NOT DISTURB! So, I bowed my head to avoid eye contact. I never felt so ashamed. I peeked my eyes past by brow to assess the situation. The assessment, Daddy caught my eye and didn't let go. It was as if his eyes were speaking a language only I could hear.....well, maybe Alyssia could hear it too. She knew something upset Daddy. She also knew, it wasn't her who upset him. It was me. I was crushed under the weight of Daddy's disappointment. He doesn't have to curse or hit me to prove his point to me(discipline me). I can feel it when Daddy isn't Daddy.

I still can't believe I said it. I'll never forget it, for as long as I live
The story goes, we were in the bath, Daddy turns on the water to the shower head and when it sprayed out, it scared me. I jumped back and said....
this word that Daddy actually asked me to repeat. He said with heavy concern "What did you say, Maritza?!
He asked me twice, then he stopped himself the third time, mid sentence. He said "There are a million words in the English language or any language to choose from and you choose, that one?" Highly disappointed, Daddy continued with our bath. The usual, wash our bodies, shampoo our hair, rinse our body & hair. At one point during our bath, I started to cry because I wanted to fill my cup up before Daddy turned off the water. Before I could even finish my first breath, he said "Don't even cry about that Maritza!!! You said a curse!! You know what you said!!  You'll find out when we're done! We don't say that word. Daddy was right, we don't.

I was wrong and I knew it. What could I do, but wait for my punishment.... It didn't take long. Daddy's fury was well contained while he dried and put lotion on us. So well, it completely slipped my mind. When we were done, Daddy asked Alyssia "Which DVD  would you like to watch? Dora or Word World?"
Alyssia said "Dora!" at first.
I called out "World world!". Alyssia agreed. she usually agrees with me, and that's when Daddy ended our conversation with a tone that terrifies me, saying "You are not watching anything tonight, Maritza!. Your punished for cursing!". The waterworks went full blast!
I cried "I promise I won't say that word again. I don't want to go upstairs and sleep in my room alone"
"I don't want you to say that word again, Maritza"

I cried and cried, but it didn't change a thing.

I went upstairs with my Daddy. He tucked me into my cold and lonely bed. I don't think I've ever slept without Alyssia. Why did I say that bad word? The good thing is, Daddy laid down next to me looked and my eyes and said "I want to talk about what happened." I love our little talks.
Daddy asked me "Where did you hear that word from? Did you hear it from the sitters house? I know they curse a lot but, you don't hear daddy cursing?, do you?
It was silent for a moment...Daddy asked me again. "Do you hear me cursing?" More silence.
I didn't know if I should tell him, but with everything he's taught me I did.
"I heard you say it when your friends come over and touch your stuff"
"Really, Maritza?" He didn't look as angry as he did when he first heard it. Now, he seemed to feel the shame I felt. It was Daddy's fault. He said to me "I apologize.....I didn't realize. Are you sure you didn't copy it from Apple's house?"
"No Daddy, I didn't. We copy everything you say and do, because we're your children, yea"
"Your right, you should. Still, you shouldn't say bad words, Maritza. When you become an adult you can choose whether or not you want to curse, as for now your just a child and children shouldn't curse."
Daddy paused for a few seconds adding "If you get it from me, I can't be too upset. I tell you to copy everything I do. You're only following by example. I have to set a better example. Let's go downstairs."
"I'm going downstairs to lay with Alyssia?
"Yes, Maritza"
"I'm not punished"
"No your not. We had our talk. we figured it out and you know not to say bad words even if you hear Daddy say it, right?" 
"Yes, Daddy"
"Good. Your too pretty to say such ugly words"
"I love you Daddy"
"I love you too, Maritza."
"Daddy?.."
"Yes, Maritza?"
"What do adults say instead of that word?"
"If they can't help saying it at all, some say Sugar Honey Iced Tea. Good night Maritza"
"Goodnight, Daddy." I think It's better to not say anything at all. I hate to see him mad at me.

Dear Mommy...

June 23, 2012

Dear Mommy,
           Hi.......
It''s me, your third daughter, Maritza Perez. Daddy's first child and daughter? The little girl with no middle name? You know? The reason you get up in the morning? Why the sky looks ten shades a brighter blue and the air taste a little sweeter? Why you can hold your head up high and say "that's my baby girl"
You haven't forgotten about how your world would not exist without me, right? How the moment I entered this world, you knew I was destined for something great? I don't think you did. I think your in trouble, Mommy. How else could you have forgotten all the things I've mentioned? Its not something you hang and admire on a wall, store in your albums, or tell your friends about. It's not something you stumble across or hunt down. It is an involuntary, subconscious, Phenomena. It is there from the beginning. It will be there well after the end.  
I remember Daddy saying to us.  "The love and responsibility I have for you and Alyssia, was given to me the moment I found out I was having a baby. Now. You take that feeling, multiply it by infinity, and you barely scrape the surface of comprehending the feelings I felt the second you entered my world"
It always seemed to be at the exact moment our delicate fragile minds needed to hear it the most.
His words are so powerful. I think he's is doing a great job. You can tell by his profile post, that we are well taken care of. I couldn't imagine my world without him. He is the only person who doesn't always, let me and Alyssia get our way. We try and try. We become stronger with every attempt and learn so much from trying. (Daddy taught us that). He wont be able to handle the both of us, though. As soon as Alyssia starts enunciating more, we will be unstoppable.  She is so grown, So sweet, so kind. Shes one special little girl. I'm proud to call her my sister.

Daddy shows us videos on his PS3 of you, all the time. When I was little, like Alyssia. There is also a picture frame hanging in the dining room. Every time we eat, we see our sister Jazmine in her pretty Orange dress, India and Jazmine in the prettiest matching pink outfits, and one of you kissing Alyssia.
She was just a baby....10 months old, I think...but Mommy.
I don't think Alyssia remembers you. A year is a long time.  
I remember. I remember your love, I remember the way you held me, the way you spoke to me, The way you called my name, The way you said all of our names....when you were Mommy and you don't have to worry at all. No one has replaced you as our Mommy. Daddy makes sure of that. He says "No one can replace you as our mother.'
Its just Alyssia, Mommy. When your name is brought up she doesn't respond. Daddy asked me one time while we were in the middle of our nightly ritual of brushing our teeth. Oh! We have bubble gum princess tooth paste. Daddy said only princesses brush their teeth with this toothpaste. We're princesses! Back to what I was saying. Daddy asked me if I missed you. I said "I do and I miss Jazmine and India, too.", then I asked Alyssia the same question. She didn't say a word. She did look at Daddy. She looks at Daddy in a different way. Like, he truly is her everything. Her one and only. Daddy knows this. He looked back at her, kissed her on the forehead and said "Don't worry you'll see her one day"

When I ask Daddy what you're doing and where your at?..
Daddy says "Mommy is working on her life, right now. Hopefully, when she's done, she'll come back to see you and Alyssia."
That would be nice...I love you Mommy
                                                               

                                                                                                Your Daughter                                                                                                                                             Maritza Perez
 



   
 

Why doesn't my Daddy understand!

Maritza & Alyssia's Tips For A Better Parent June 20, 2012
When the sun comes up and the light beams creep through our window shade, to touch us with a warm kiss on our skin, we know it's time for another fun filled day!! Most of the time, Daddy wakes us up early, so he can go two work. Today, he worked late and we had to wake him up(he always says to give him a couple minutes before he leaves his bed).
When Daddy works late we do so many things we dont get to do at the sitters. We love making and eating breakfast with him in the morning. Today we made pancakes, eggs. and turkey sausage. Alyssia crushed one of the egg in her hand. Daddy didnt mind,(tee hee) but thats another story.
A few of the other many luxuries we indulge in are, brushing our teeth together,( Daddy says "our teeth are the gift we give to people when we smile. So, you want to keep them pearly white." I like pearly white) we get to watch a movie together, (today we watched The Secret World Of Arrietty. Its one of me and Daddy's favorites!!) and we even get our hair done by our personal hair dresser. He does a fabulous job, by the way. Daddy always makes us look so pretty. He says "its a small exhibition of selfworth" I like pretty.
Daddy was in a rush to get to work, as usual. Something always comes up. Like a lost flip-flop, Daddy can't find his keys or two little girls that love their Daddy so much they dont want to see him go that easily. We try as hard as we can, but we like to take our time. like oooo, whats that! Daddy gets so frustrated. You think he would have learned by now. So, we're dropped off at Apples' house. It was so hot today, we went to Granmas' and Pop-pops pool. We had a blast!!! Wish Daddy was with us. He likes jumping into the pool. He calls it diving. I heard Apple one time call out "8.9". I didn't understand what she meant by that, I'll have to ask Daddy. Yea, he would of loved it. Hot dogs, cheese burgers, this was becoming a regular outing for the Apple clan. Apple is April. She's our sitter. We stayed in the pool all day. From when, the sun was right on top of us until it was behind the trees. Thats when we had to go in and change into our "outside" cloths. I was changed first. Alyssia pooped in her "pull-up for the water" YUCKIE!
While Granma was changing Alyssia on the sofa, Daddy walked in. I tried to scare him by sneaking up on him. It didn't work. He's a tall man. I think I startled his knee? After giving me my hugs and kisses, Daddy went over to help Granma with Alyssia. She was a mess. Granma did a great job. Alyssia was all clean and dressed to recieve her hugs and kisses(it's the normal routine).  After the love, we ask him if we can have something to drink or something to eat. He looks at his watch and says "What did you eat today" or " Wait till we get home". Everyone tells us we have the tendency to whine and cry when Daddy's around. You would to.
The combination of not seeing Daddy all day and Daddy not giving us everything we want is frustrating. The person you love the most is the one telling you no?  Really. How could this be? So what if its 8:30? I want a juice! It doesn't bother Alyssia to eat her cheeseburger that she saved in the refrigerator, even though its almost bedtime, we need our strength to play with you now. We don't want to go home and take a shower. We want to stay up. Your not tired? Are you? To tired to play?
No one is ever to tired to play. I just don't understand.
So I asked my Daddy and he said "You and Alyssia have had a busy day. We had a great morning together, we made a delicious breakfast and watched our favorite movie. Now, it's time to go home, take a quick bath. No toys!"-
"No toys!"
"One toy! and Go to sleep. So, you can wake up tomorrow. Daddy doesn't have to work, we can enjoy the day together. It's going to be really hot tomorrow."
"But, we wanna stay up with you"
"Its bedtime girls!"
"Yes, Daddy.." Daddy always shouts "it's bedtime" when he's trying to get us to go to bed. Most of the time, it works.
Why doesnt Daddy understand? We miss you all day? We would rather stay awake and spend time with you, than go to sleep.

Fathers Day Is everyday we get to wake up and see our Daddy.

Maritza & Alyssia's Tips For A Better Parent June 17, 2012


Daddy told us today was Fathers Day. It actually, came up when aunt Dawn came to the house to drop of a small Fathers Day cake
I asked Daddy " Why did she give that to you?"
"It's because, it's Fathers Day, Maritza."
"It's not Mothers Day?"
"No, that was last month"
"Its Fathers Day?"
"Yes, Maritza"
As aunt Dawn was leaving, we heard her say "Happy Fathers Day" to Daddy.
I said happy Fathers Day too, then Alyssia said it. (She always copies me)
Daddy said, with us in his arms "Thank You, Girls. Everyday I see my babies, is Fathers Day."
"So, next month is going to be kids day?"
"No, it's not Maritza. everyday is kids day"
"Tomorrow is going to be kids day?"
"Yes, Maritza"
"I love you, Daddy."
"I love you, Maritza"
"I love you too, Daddy"
"I love you too, Alyssia"

Everyday Is A Holiday

Bringing It Back

June 16, 2012

What is it with holidays and my Daddy? Every time there's a holiday coming up, Daddy isn't as enthusiastic as everyone else. He doesn't purchase gifts or decorations. He doesn't talk about them, nothing. Except, birthdays. Daddy loves birthdays.
He says "It's a celebration of life, of existence. The first breath that fills your lungs with oxygen. The first time you use your ears, to hear the sound of your own voice. The first time you feel the touch of another human being as they pass you to the moment of truth. The moment you are placed in the arms of this women who, (with no doubt in your mind) was responsible for carrying you, nourishing you, sheltering you, and caring for you. The connection never dies. It is there, from the first heart beat to the last! It's magical and that's something to celebrate!!!" Daddy gets so excited when he talks about something he feels so strongly about.

We on the other hand, love holidays. All the presents and gifts, candy and treats. It's amazing, the energy in the air, the good tidings and sweet intentions. How can anyone not want to have a holiday everyday? It's the few times in the year where people call each other and wish them a happy something, say I love you, or just to hear each others voices. Everyone sounds like me, Alyssia, and Daddy during these times, not a day goes by, that we don't tell each other "I love you" or show how much we care. Maybe, if everyday was a holiday, it would be hard to forget how much you love and appreciate someone. Or just maybe, we wouldn't take things for granted, maybe.
As for now, I'm happy to have those few days that change the attitude of a town, a city, a country or the world.

Could that be the reason Daddy doesn't care for holidays? He's trying to show us that everyday is a holiday, and as long as he's there, in our lives, he will prove it and no outside force can tell him when to be happy and content?
If that's the case, Daddy. You already have, time and time again.
We will (as you put it) celebrate life with you.....
everyday.
After all, we only copy what we see.

This Is What It Sounds Like

Maritza & Alyssia's Tips For A Better Parent  June 12, 2012
This is my life. This is my family. This is who I will be when I become older. This is who I am now.
This is not retribution. This is not Revenge. This is not at all, what it feels like. This is not about you.
This is about us!! This is about how, two little girls, were fortunate enough to have one of the few fathers out there, that could actually raise two little women. This is about my Daddy. This is  about what others might think. This is the perfect idea. This is the reason you smile, when you look at me. This is the reason I smile  when I look at you.This is the spark. This is the connection.
This is OUR story! OUR journey! OUR Point of view! OUR lives......


If the feelings of any individual are hurt by any means because of The words written in our tips. Please, feel free to comment. Keep in mind while Showing your intelligence
"The feelings of a child are more important to us, then they are to you"

I think I'm starting to sound like my Daddy.
Thank you Daddy!


                 

June 10, 2012 The Cook-out Mr. Lil Kenny's Graduation Party

Today we went to a cookout.Daddy was with us of course. he told us it was for Mr.Kenny's son, Mr. Lil Kenny graduated from high school this week. (He's really not that little, Thats just what we call him.) Congratulations Lil Kenny!!! My Daddy says, Mr. Kenny and Mrs. Jackie are so proud of their son. I asked Daddy "Why is Mrs. Jackie crying?" 
He said "Having your child graduate from high school is one of the proudest moments in a parents life"
"Is it just like when Alyssia sang her ABC's or when I added 3 pus 2 together to make 5?"
Daddy smiled "Yes, Maritza. Just like that...A parent knows their child can do it. There's no doubt in their mind. Its the moment it actually happens. The moment you see "your" creation, your offspring, your child, your baby boy or girl grow up, right in front of your eyes." I thought Daddy was going to cry, but he didn't
"I think he did Maritza. He turned his head for a minute."
"That doesn't mean Daddy cried, Alyssia"
"I think it does."
"ALYSSIA!!"
"I'm just saying"
 Anyway, the cookout. It was great!! I went swimming. Alyssia didn't. Daddy didn't bring our bathing suits. We left them at Pop-pop's house. Julia (Mr. Kenny & Mrs Jackie's daughter) let me borrow hers. Julia's the best. She's 14, so of course it didn't fit. Julia made it work, though. She tied the sides and top to fit me, it was pretty. Everyone thought it was mine at first, until the very end, when Julia wore it. They looked so surprised. She did a really good job.
The food there was delicious. Especially the chips. Daddy says "chips are not food". Whatever they are, we love them! Mr. Kenny was on the grill. Mrs Jackie was in the kitchen with her mommy. Everyone complimented the chefs. We ate deviled eggs. Chips. We had hot dogs. Chips. Daddy gave us half his burger to share. Chips. Potato salad. Chips. Macaroni salad. Chips. Did I mention the juices? Daddy said "you can't keep drinkin juices all day!" we did though. We had little blue ones, some orange ones, I like the red ones. Alyssia told me she filled up, her pull-up a couple of times. She thinks its cute. Daddy doesn't.
 There was this beautiful cake. We went in the house to see it four times. It had Lil Kenny's graduation photo on the cake. I didn't know pictures taste like cake! Daddy says "the bakery takes a copy the picture, then makes one out of frosting" oh!! When the cake was finally brought out and cut it was Delicious !Me and Alyssia had two pieces each.  Is cake food, Daddy? You know what? Don't answer that. I don't want to know. I did a few new things at this cook-out. I went fishing! One of Mr. Kenny's friends showed me how. See, Mrs. Jackie's Mommy and Daddy live by the water. It was moving from one side to the next. Daddy called it a river. While I was fishing, I saw a few boats, these people on a raft being pulled, and birds diving into it. Maybe, thats the reason I didn't catch any fish and I didn't go swimming in it either. I went swimming in the pool. It was closer to the house than the river and much cleaner too. 
Thanks to everyone that made me, my Daddy and my sister feel so welome and at home. 
So many firsts. So many memories. Its going to be a summer to remember.

We spell mommy. D-a-d-d-y

Almost two years ago..to read these again after so long is mind blowing to me. I started writing these memories to store a record of my experiences and those of my baby girls. More so to vent, channel, release, (however you want to put  it), these feelings of hopelessness, doubt, anger and frustration. Now I believe my two daughters will get a kick out of these tales, when they grow an interest enough to do so. Until then, I'm glad I can share them with you,  enjoy

May 20, 2012

Our Daddy. Our World. They are one and the same. We don't have many years of experience on this planet, but from what we've experienced, our world would not exist, if our Daddy didn't. While we are awake, Daddy gives us all his attention. Even while we sleep, Daddy is busy taking care of our needs for the following day. Daddy says, "Giving a child everything they want is senseless, giving them everything they need is essential." Daddy doesn't think like most-we've heard the phrase "to each his own" and we were taught to know, not everyone thinks the same. For instance, Daddy would say "Individuality is the key to creativity and creativity is the key to progress.". So we ride on that wave of endless creativity and give you our journey, through our trials of failure and achievement, our thirst for the unknown, our happiness, sorrow,  joy, anger, frustration and bliss. We do apologize if we offend. We also take credit If we commend.(that rhymed)

We can only copy from a model. An example, right in front of our noses. It doesn't matter who you are, where you came from, what you do for a living, or the way you live your life, it is not a factor, when it comes to mimicking. We observe, we report. Only when the years accumulate and the reflection of your character, personality and identity, give proof to who you really are. Your defects or attributes can now be seen from an outside view. Daddy knows this and that is why, Daddy is our world.

We experience the smallest wonders to the greatest amazement's because of our Daddy. Our curiosity is satisfied only to open room for more. Daddy says "I will always have an answer for you. If not, I will help you to find it." Daddy has a lot to say, which only scrapes at the surface at an explanation of Daddy's constant barrage of words, sentences, paragraphs, pages, books, libraries and his "ancient scriptures of the mind". He takes the time to think "Does this situation call for a mothers sensitivity and compassion?". Though, I think he doesn't practice it as frequently as he should. Most of the time, it's the, stern, aggressive, tones and actions which strike fear and confidence in us. His strength and power shine through that silk cloak, draped across his iron fist. We see through the delicateness, through the gentleness and see our stone of impenetrable force, which stands watch over us, scarred from the mighty blows of hardship and struggle that we did not-excuse me-The hardship and struggle, that he did not, allow us to endure. He magnifies the gratitude and content for the abilities of his six senses, his limbs, appendages, and shines it outward for us to bask in, for we do not know of appreciation and gratitude. We only know what we see and duplicate, like The confidence in his actions, to the love he reserves only for his baby girls.

 To try and elaborate words to describe, I would have to ask you this. If you could?, go back and remember what it was like as an infant, being cradled, five feet above the ground. No distinction between the safety of solid ground and the security of "those arms". You look up and two pairs of eyes engage in a intricate conversation only heard on the other side of the cosmos.  An aura so loud, yet so gentle envelops you. You hear a whisper.... "I will never let you go. I will keep you safe". Instantly you acknowledge, he is right. There is nothing to fear as long as you are with him. Monsters and demons do not exist, the shadows and the darkness could not be seen with a love so bright.  He is, our first true love, our night in shining armor, our hero. To know him is to love him. Then you would most likely, resent him with uncertainty, because his love for us is perceived as selfishness and insensitivity, to the rest of the world.

Daddy once said "I am a selfish man. I know this. Now I am a selfish father and the world will know this." Ya' know.....Daddy's quotes are like a good restaurant you just found, everyone you know hears about it, still few experience it for themselves. We love you Daddy.

I'm Just Too Busy

June 6, 2012

Daddy loves to read. Whenever he comes across something special, he reads it to us. After he read it, I asked him who anonymous was. Daddy said "Anonymous isn't a name it's a word to inform you that the person who wrote it or created it, wants no credit for it.. We liked it a lot. We hope you like it too.

                                   I'm Just Too Busy

Dear Mom & Dad,
I see my friends all the time, Whenever schools in.
They say they're outside at night, after its time to come in.
They tell stories of adventure, joy, and disobedience.
They tell of love, lust and the boys they're sleeping with.
They tell great tales, that would seem to last forever.
They sound so cool, like a rebel. To them, everything is "whatever".
 I want to be apart of those memories...those monumental  moments
I want to be free like them, do everything that I shouldn't.
I feel so left out to hear all the things that they've done, and I didn't.
I know its wrong, but I want to, even for an instance.

I hear my friends living life, and whatever there heart desires.
I hear my friends in school, talking about bonfires,
getting drunk, getting high, and the boyfriends they admire.
They're just too busy for work, chores, or an education life requires..
They're just too busy having fun, till the day that they retire.
I'm just too busy too, from the words that you inspire.

You taught to me the value of time, from when I was a baby.
Instilled is the tasks, that keeps my mind occupied and busy.
I have responsibilities now, I am proud of my family.
So when asked to hang late at night. I'm just too busy.
I'm just too busy.
How can they make it out, to look so easy?
I have school and homework 5 days a week.
Help with dinner when I'm not at dance,3 times a week.
I help around the house, any chance I get.
Infused with me is the pride of  "keeping kept where you rest."
When my family applauds me, with a standing ovation,
At recitals and graduation. Its just the best sensation.
I hope my friends are experiencing it, too.
I haven't seen them in awhile, they must of dropped out of school.

School is finally done! I start my new career, my "job"!
Like you always say "responsibility makes you, who you are."
I felt it when I went to the dealer, to buy my first car.
When I moved into my first place, the best feeling by far.
My own money, mind, rules, and demands.
My desires, my needs are met on my demand.
My stories, my adventures, my new boyfriend.
My monumental memories with all my new friends.
All these things I have because you taught me to value.
You taught me from the start. You taught me the value,
Of hard work and persistence, commitment and patience.
Compassion, perseverance, confidence and deliverance.
The important difference, between coexistence and dependence.

Where are my friends now...
I heard one, is an at home mom of two handsome little boys.
She's on welfare and collects child support, for one of the boys. 
Spends it on her nails, hair, cloths, and doesn't let him see his father.
I asked her to come out. She said "I need a sitter" I said "don't bother".

My other friend, became a dope head. almost on her death bed.
She didn't mean to get hooked, at least that's what she said. 
It started from percs and oxy that she got from her boyfriend.
He said "we'll be together forever", then slept with her friend
She can't help chasing the drug or a clinic to feel normal, daily.
I would ask her to hang, but now, she's not my kind of company.

My third friend on the list.....
Sad to say, no longer exist.
She was the one who had sex and didn't care who it was with.
She contracted HIV and still had sex, unprotected.
Now she's dead, leaving behind three innocent children.

The last of my friends, from my teenage era,
Compared to the others, is actually doing better.
She has her own apartment, works at a job flipping burgers.
She has problems with alcohol, that started when she was younger.
She has been one year clean, come this October.
I can't ask her to come out, now that she's sober.

I remembered when I wanted to be, just like them.
I bet the best memories of they're life, were all back then.
I remembered they're stories, how exciting, how fun. 
To know my best memories have only just begun. 
when I'm asked how I did it, how did I succeed.
I tell them my parents kept me busy, busy as can be.

Thank you Mom and Dad.
I wish every child was as lucky as I am, to have someone who cares enough about their future, to stand up and do something about it.
                                             -Anonymous